learning about fear

today i learned that being happy is hindered by fear.

because we fear so much we limit ourselves to do and love so much.

i fear a lot:

i fear what others think of me.

i fear others would not understand me.

i fear my ideas are too weird.

i fear ghosts.

i fear i am not beautiful enough.

i fear the greatness there is.

i fear i may be too weak.

i fear i might fail someone.

i fear i might disappoint someone.

i fear i might anger someone.

i fear all these fears might not go away..

book-off fan

i love the book off shop in japan. you would easily recognize the store with their logo, a kanji of the word book.

the one in aeon mall narita is my favorite because not only does it have dizzying amount of books but it also sells clothes, toys, and really good gift ideas like towels which some have brands like burberry. elle, or YSL. almost all the things they sell are used that's why we also call it the re-use store, but i like to believe that the towels they sell are the open samples from stores because i think nobody would still keep the towels' boxes in neat and presentable condition, and i don't think it is very hygienic to sell used towels 'cause it can spread skin disease. well, i never bought towels for myself yet, anyway.

i just bought a pair of kid's hello kitty bikini and a kid's hello kitty surfer's shirt [err i dont exactly know what it's called]. i can't wait to give it to my friends daughter. i hope she will like it. i can't wait.

items posted

yey my items finally got posted on eBay!

just keeping my fingers crossed that somebody would take notice

the impatient me

so funny how my patience is easily tested. i just said that i wont let this day end without me posting at least one item on ebay. i was able to successfully enlist an item but when i can't find it on the search list i got frustrated badly! i did not even consider that ebay needs ample time to arrange and verify things before they can index it correctly. well, now i know and i can't wait until tomorrow =D

i wanna be on ebay

i am on fire again to start something new. i want to be on ebay! but it seems to me it is more complicated than it looks:

i have to write a good description.
i have to take good pictures of the items
i have to search for couriers.
i have to settle what payment is agreeable to me.
i want the bank deposit thing but i dont know my account number! i
m in japan, i dont have online access to it. arg!
i want to set this up before my five days in japan end.
i want to be on ebay!!!

be careful what you wish for...

i prayed to God He bring me something or someone who would lead me back to Him and i got it...His answer is so strong that i forgot the road that leads to Him is narrow and difficult. i am in that road now and i am not sure if i can make it.

The Passion

Reflections that Jesus makes on the mystery of His suffering and the value it has on the Redemption.
Cochabamba - Bolivia
Spanish Editions: 1996 and 1998
English 1st Edition - November 1999

Jesus Prays in the Garden
Extract 4
Jesus

Nobody really believes that I perspired blood that night at Gethsemane, and few believe that I suffered much more in those hours than in the Crucifixion. It was more painful because it was clearly revealed to Me that the sins of everyone were made Mine and that I should answer for each one. Thus I, being innocent and pure, answered to the Father as if I were really guilty of dishonesty and of all the impurities committed by you, My brothers. You dishonor God who created you to be instruments of the greatness of Creation and not to stray from the nature given you with the purpose of gradually taking that nature to lead you to behold the pure vision of Me, your Creator.

Therefore, I was made thief, murderer, adulterer, liar, a sacrilegious person, blasphemer, slanderer, and rebel to the Father whom I have always loved.

It was precisely this contrast between My Love for the Father and His Will that caused My perspiration of blood. But I obeyed until the end and for Love of everyone, I covered Myself with the guilt so that I could do My Father’s Will and save you from eternal damnation.

Consider how many more than human agonies I had that night and, believe Me, nobody could alleviate such anguish because, on the contrary, I was seeing how each one of you devoted yourself to making my death cruel at every moment that was given to Me because of the offenses whose penalty I have paid in full. I want it to be known once again how I loved all men at that hour of abandonment and sadness without name….